Wanted: Sleep

Posted on Nov 28th, 2017 in Crime, Parenting

Reward: $1,000,000 (and driver who has eyes open).

A calgary area woman was abruptly awoken in the middle of the night to have her sleep stolen by an 8 year old’s bad dream. The bad dream, no longer able to be recalled by the child victim, disrupted the sleep of the calgary area woman when her 8 year old ran into the woman’s bedroom at 3AM. The woman returned the child to her bed and laid down with the child to comfort her. Experiencing her own fitful hour of sleeping in the child’s bed, the area woman dreamt she was being wakened repeatedly. The calgary area woman returned to her own bed around 4am. The woman spent the next two hours and twenty five minutes trying to return to sleep and finally did so at 6:25am. A full five minutes of rest later the woman rose from bed at the planned time of 6:30am.

“Obviously, that’s when I noticed the sleep was missing”

The area woman quickly realized that she would look at the world through a haze that Wednesday and likely caffeine would not be helpful (but it wouldn’t hurt). When asked at breakfast about the early morning break in, the child victim of the bad dream could no longer recall her bad dream. Words blurring before her eyes, the woman sent her children off to school and collapsed in heap on the kitchen island.

“I’ll lose a whole day to this robbery. Maybe more. I probably won’t fully recover until 3 weeks from now when I have my next chance to sleep in,” the area woman stated factually. “It’s weird because there were no warning signs,” said the woman shaking her head in confusion.

The only clue as to why the robbery was committed was an unrelated report from the child 25 minutes after lights out that she was hot. To be clear, the child was not ill. Just hot.

If you have any information that might lead the the capture of sleep or the prevention of a bad dream please report it immediately to the Bad Dream Police.

If you see the calgary area woman sleeping in her car in a parking lot, please just let her rest.